I honestly believe that Scott Pilgrim vs. The World will be a defining film of the aughts. Sure, the movie is actually being released in 2010 — a year technically no longer part of that yet-to-be definitively named decade. It is, however, based on a series of graphic novels, the first of which was published in 2004.
Every day Robert Saucedo shines a spotlight on a movie either so bad it’s good or just downright terrible. Today: Cat scratch fever!
Watching a film adapted from a Stephen King novel is, more often than not, an event akin to trick-or-treating at evangelical cartoonist Jack Chick’s house — it’s nothing more then time wasted in search of fun where there is just none to be had.
This sad fact is not due to a lack of trying. Most of King’s stories have each seen at least one attempt at a big-screen adaptation. Some have even gone in for seconds or thirds.
Cat’s Eye, an anthology film written by the King himself and currently celebrating its 25th anniversary (at least in my home), is a rare case where a director not only fails to butcher the King story it set out to adapt, but actually provides some quality entertainment in the process.
Cat’s Eye adapts two short stories from King’s Night Shift collection along with an original tale written for the film.
Director Lewis Teague, who had previous experience in adapting King’s work with the almost-masterpiece that is Cujo constructed a low-key horror film that relied upon satire-filled black comedy and genuine tension rather than clichéd “gotcha” scares culled from the surplus of ‘80s-era slasher films.
The three stories in Cat’s Eye revolve around a stray cat in search of the mysterious girl (Drew Barrymore) who calls for help in the cat’s dreams.
Barrymore, giving Eddie Murphy a run for his money, actually plays four different roles throughout the film — including a mentally retarded girl. Being this is Drew Barrymore, though, all of the girls are essentially the same performance.
As the pussycat makes his way across the country in search of the girl, he encounters two different men in danger of being crushed by their own vices.
In the first story, “Quitters Inc.,” the always-entertaining James Woods plays Richard Morrison, a smoker in search of a cure to his addiction. Morrison enlists the help of Quitters Inc., a firm specializing in the use of negative reinforcement to help break bad habits.
Don’t expect swear jars or slaps on the wrist if Morrison slips, though. If he indulges in his habit, Morrison’s wife will experience increasingly severe torture — including shock therapy, rape and eventually the sharp end of a knife.
Running Quitters Inc. is a sinister thug played by Alan King in a wonderfully loony performance. If you’ve ever wanted to watch a smoke-filled dream sequence that climaxes with Alan King lip-singing along to The Police’s “Every Breath You Take,” Cat’s Eye is your movie.
As Morrison struggles to break away from his nicotine dependency, he realizes the firm’s threats are anything but idle.
Woods’ portrayal of Morrison is a wonderful exploration into a paranoia-prevalent decade where espionage technology was growing in leaps and bounds. Everywhere Morrison goes, he imagines (or perhaps it isn’t his imagination) spies sent from the firm to watch his every move — all of them searching for any sign of cigarette smoking slippage on Morrison’s part.
In the second story “The Ledge,” Robert Hays (Airplane! ) stars as Johnny Norris, an adulterer caught by his lover’s husband.
His life threatened, Norris is given the choice of either being shot through the head or attempt a walk around the edge of a high-rise building — perched on nothing but a tiny ledge.
As Norris scales the side of the building, he must confront strong winds, destructive pigeons and the sadistic mind of a very angry husband who will utilize everything from high pressure water hoses to noise makers to ensure Norris does not meet his challenge.
The story is a throwback to the E.C. horror comics of the ’50s where the Cryptkeeper would gloat over his tales of revenge and just desserts. The short tale focuses on a mounting sense of dread to portray the hopelessness struggle of a sinner who might not deserve the hell he has found himself in.
In the final story, “The General,” the cat is finally united with Barrymore’s character, that lisp-sporting precocious cutie pie that has called out to him throughout the movie.
Moving away from the suspense-filled morality tales that made up the first two-thirds of the film, the last story finds our hero cat protecting his new owner from a pint-sized troll in search of a child’s breath.
Utilizing some well-constructed miniature sets and costumes, the troll sequence — while definitely a departure into the fantastical — is an entertaining end to an entertaining film.
In fact, growing up the troll segment from Cat’s Eye was one of my favorite things ever. My sister and I would watch the last part of the film on repeat for entire afternoons — thrilling as the Frank Welker-voiced Troll had his fateful showdown with the hero cat.
Cat’s Eye succeeds where most horror anthologies fail because of the fact that each story is strong on its own right. While I would love to have seen full-length versions of any of the stories in Cat’s Eye, their presentation in the film is just the right length.
Cat’s Eye is an unfortunately little-remembered gem that horror fiends can find cheap on DVD. For Stephen King fanboys, the movie is a must own. A meta-trip through the author’s work, keep an eye out for references to Cujo, Christine and The Dead Zone — just to name a few.
Robert Saucedo wants to challenge Robert Hays’ record for long-distance pigeon punting. Follow him on Twitter @robsaucedo2500.
Every day Robert Saucedo shines a spotlight on a movie either so bad it’s good or just downright terrible. Today: Cowboys vs. aliens
Forget Indians, everybody knows the cowboy’s greatest enemy comes from outer space.
In High Plains Invaders, the Kristoffer Tabori directed gunslinger vs extraterrestrial creature feature, James Marsters (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) plays Sam Danville, a former officer in the Indian Wars who, seeking a bit of a thrill, has turned to a life of crime. After tasting the sweet nectar of Indian-killing, Danville is not content to go back to his old life. No, now that he has shot people dead, Danville leaves his best gal Abigail Pixley (played by Cindy Sampson) behind and transforms himself into a train robber.
When his latest escapade accidentally causes a train derailment, Danville is crushed to find out he has unwittingly become a murderer. His spirits aren’t the only things that are going to be crushed though; Danville faces a hanging — just as soon as the town’s incompetent sheriff can lead his motley crew of deputies into putting together a half-decent gallows.
Yes, High Plains Invaders begins with its toes firmly dipped into typical western chestnuts. There’s the dusty one-street-town complete with saloon, general store and prison. There’s the contemplative hero who has just a bit of a bad streak running through him. There’s even a bounty hunter — albeit one who is a real beauty and looks good in a skirt and gun strap. And I’m not talking about Bobba Fett.
Sanny Van Heteren plays Rose Hilridge, a sassy lass who makes her bones killing bad guys — and doesn’t take gruff from anybody.
But honestly, this is all window dressing — as fluffy and ultimately meaningless as the decorative trimmings on a pistol. There is only one thing that people watching a movie about cowboys vs. aliens want to know about — and that one thing doesn’t involve character development.
The invaders of High Plains Invaders are a group of shiny gold insectoids that scuttle about on crab-like legs, drilling into the ground in search of Uranium. Not only do these creatures use the raw element as a projectile weapon that they shoot out of their mouths and into the chests of unsuspecting yokels, the aliens seem to get some kind of high from snorting the stuff.
In a big of unlucky happenstance, Jules Arning, a squirrely little man played by Sebastian Knapp, has been processing the element at his ranch on the edge of town. When the aliens get a whiff of what a treasure trove of uranium they are sitting on, it becomes a massacre worthy of James Cameron standards.
Well, maybe not James Cameron. More like Roger Corman.
The film, while utilizing some impressive make-up effects and an admirable job with computer graphics, is still very much a low-budget film. The effects are rough and the filmmakers choose to play much of the action off-screen where the audiences’ need to utilize their imagination helps keep the budget in check.
James Marsters does a respectable job as a western hero — though I have to admit I missed the faux-British accent he donned while playing Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. With only a standard American accent at his disposal, the actor seemed to lose some of his charm and charisma — but maybe that was just my low-level racism at work.
The film, while low budget and awfully cheesy in its plot, is surprisingly entertaining in places.
When it plays out like a prison siege film like some kind of combination of Assault on Prescient 13 and Starship Troopers, the movie hits the spot in ways few straight-to-DVD creature flicks do.
High Plains Invaders is not a perfect film and it won’t win any awards for its ingenuity but there are worse ways to spend an hour and a half than watching cowboys and aliens duking it out at the OK Corral.
Robert Saucedo recommends the graphic novel IRON WEST by Doug TenNapel as the best cowboy vs. aliens bit o’ fiction around. Follow Robert on Twitter @robsaucedo2500.
It’s funny. I didn’t realize how much I liked the wisecracking trickster Freddy Krueger that Robert Englund played in the later Nightmare on Elm Street movies until I sat through the first terribly somber hour of the A Nightmare on Elm Street remake.
As Jackie Earle Haley’s Freddy Krueger slowly works his way through the all-you-can-eat buffet of teenage victims presented before him in director Samuel Bayer’s film, I started to grow a little bored.
Instead of the macabre antics and on-the-nose killer puns that had been the trademarks of the later Nightmare on Elm Street sequels, the new film featured a mostly silent but deadly killer who hid in the shadows — popping out only to utter something dreadfully threatening in a Christian Bale cancer voice before eviscerating his victim.
Now there is nothing wrong with a slow but steady pace in a horror film. Some of my favorite scary movies take their sweet time before getting to the good stuff. Setting the tone and building suspense is highly important.
Unfortunately, the remake’s writers’ need to sow the seeds of a mystery into a plot that stays largely faithful to the original 25+-year-old movie proves to be a mistake.
While this may be effective for teenage audiences who are new to the series and being introduced to Freddy Krueger for the first time, those of us who aren’t experiencing our first Nightmare on Elm Street rodeo will quickly grow tired of the dreary proceedings and begin to pine the Freddy Krueger of our youth — the one that would transform out of a television set or turn a helpless victim into a human meat puppet.
My biggest problem with the A Nightmare on Elm Street remake is the fact that it takes itself way too seriously — a problem I find repeated in far too many recent horror films.
There is completely too little levity — whether it is a bit of humor or a quiet character-driven scene designed to break the tension. It seems most modern horror films want to be a “non-stop roller coaster of terror.” Well, unless you are showing us something fresh and interesting, audiences will quickly grow bored of the same loud-noise jump scares being tossed at us like fish to a hungry sea lion.
A Nightmare on Elm Street is perhaps too faithful to the original film — with some scenes lifted directly from Wes Cravens 1984 hit. It’s the scenes that are tweaked — even slightly — into something fresh and heretofore unseen that prove the most effective. I’m all for staying true to the source material but I also don’t want to watch the same movie I’ve been seeing for years with only new, spiffier special effects to set it apart.
That being said, Jackie Earle Haley’s performance as Freddy Krueger really does work— especially towards the end when he is allowed to add a touch of personality to the monster.
As the film approaches its climax and Freddy Krueger begins to make jokes — albeit dark and borderline uncomfortable ones — I started to really enjoy myself and forget that I was watching a remake. Haley hits the nail on the head with his performance as Freddy Krueger. From his raspy, menacing voice to the amazing body movement and finger twitches he sprinkles into his delivery, his performance is the highlight of the film.
The cast of teenage victims, on the other hand, while turning in perfectly acceptable performances, do nothing to set themselves apart from the dozens of other kids Krueger has killed over the years. There is no real breakout performance from the cast of victims — no future scream queen or horror movie superstar in this disposable teenage wasteland.
Despite all of this, A Nightmare on Elm Street is definitely worth checking out — especially if you are a fan of the series. While a paint-by-numbers approach to the plot’s unraveling leaves the first half of the film a little dry, things pick up fast and heavy and by the time the film’s climax rolls around, the movie is moving pretty smoothly towards a satisfying climax.
The Blair Witch Project for fratboy cryptozoologists, Jimmy Tupper VS The Goatman of Bowie has an undeniable charm hidden beneath a pimply exterior.
The latest entry in the ever-growing “found footage horror” genre, JTVSTGMOB is the second full-length feature from writer, director and star Andrew Bowser.
In the film, Bowser stars as Jimmy Tupper, a near-constant drunk who stumbles from one binge-drinking session to the next until he chooses the wrong night to pass out in front of his friends. Sensing the perfect opportunity for a prank, Jimmy’s pals drag his sorry ass out into the middle of the woods and leave him there overnight.
When Jimmy fails to show up at his job the next day, his friends set out into the woods to locate their missing chum. What they find is a banged-up, very much pissed-off Jimmy ranting about a close-encounter with the furry kind — specifically the fabled Goatman of Bowie.
When, as per horror movie logic, his friends refuse to believe him, Jimmy sets back out into the woods armed with a video camera — determined to catch evidence of his would-be attacker.
Jimmy Tupper VS The Goatman of Bowie is a hard movie to recommend — yet I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the heck out of it the first time I watched it.
As is the weakness of most found-footage horror films, there is a whole lot of fluff inserted into the movie that is designed to create an aura of authenticity. While this filler is often times hard to sit through without growing a little fidgety, I will admit that it does help build a growing tension — if only for a desire for something, anything to happen.
Bowser’ Jimmy Tupper is a hapless loser — someone who starts the film almost completely unlikable but, throughout the course of the movie, manages to slightly win over the audience with the rambling one-man banter he keeps with himself as he searches the wood for any cryptoids that might be present.
The real reason I have to recommend the film to any horror movie fans is the great, imaginative ending. I have been threatened with death by trip, trip, trapping if I reveal anymore about the film’s climax so I will just say this: the payoff is worth the wait.
Bowser says he intends JTVSTGMOB to be the first in a trilogy of horror films — each one growing in scope and scale. If this is true, I can’t wait for the next movie in the series. While Jimmy Tupper still has a few warts that prevent me from recommending it to everybody, I can totally see it becoming the Evil Dead to Jimmy Tupper 2’s Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn.
Since the film is a midnight screener, I totally recommend audience members pop a few caffeine pills and maybe pound a Red Bull or two before sitting down to watch Jimmy Tupper. The movie’s slow start may put a few to sleep but those that sink into a slumber will miss out on Bowser’s fresh twist on an increasingly stale genre.
Taqwacore: The Birth of Punk Islam is two really great documentaries for the price of one.
The first half of the movie deals with the burgeoning Islamic punk scene. As a motley crew of musicians, many of them inspired by Michael Muhammad Knight’s 2003 novel, The Taqwacores, travel together on a bus touring the American countryside, they attempt to make a name for themselves and their music beyond the immediate assumptions associated with religious rock.
The bands, including a Punjabi punk group out of Boston, an Arab heavy metal group from Chicago and an all-female punk rock group from Canada, offer a full spectrum of music that might not necessarily be associated with the Muslim culture.
As the group (including Knight, who is traveling with the musicians he helped inspire) breaks free from stereotypes with their provocative, sometimes inflammatory, lyrics, the film does an excellent job at offering up some background into the Taqwacore movement and its increasing growth in popularity.
As the movie switches into its second half, though, the setting changes from the tour bus to Pakistan, where members of The Kominas, the punk band from Massachusetts, have relocated.
When Knight travels to visit his old friends, the movie changes gears and moves into new, equally interesting territory — exploring the Islamic punk music’s effect and impact on non-American Muslims. Glimpses into the lives of the musicians and Knight himself help flesh out the movement and give a face to the music.
While the transition between the two different themes in the documentary is somewhat jarring and distracts a bit from the overall film, Taqwacore remains an excellent movie — offering an in-depth look at a fascinating culture. The movie is a must-see at SXSW — or anywhere you have the opportunity to watch it.
Taqwacore is actually one of two films to play at SXSW that was inspired by the Taqwacore music scene. The Taqwacores, an adaptation of Knight’s novel directed by Eyad Zahra, will also screen at the film festival.
In the late ‘50s, Jarome Robbins, famous for creating West Side Story, took the music of Robert Prince and choreographed a ballet that celebrated and spotlighted the youth of New York City. Now, the ballet has been revisited as a film shot on-location throughout the streets of the Big Apple and using dancers from the New York City Ballet.
Part West Side Story, part Gap commercial, NY Export: Opus Jazz is a beautiful and fascinating spotlight on dance and the city. A jazz beat accompanies a sharp vision from the filmmakers, highlighting the dancers and showcasing their skills without boring those audience members who may not go gaga over choreography. Besides showcasing some true talent from amazing young dancers, the film is just plain shot beautifully. The whole thing is mesmerizing.
What’s interesting, and highly watchable about the film, is the loose story of disenfranchised youth and untargeted rebellion that drives plot through the dances, showing the youth as they prepare for a final performance in a dingy auditorium.
The film, while surely not everybody’s cup of tea, is nonetheless an entertaining way to spend an hour. A short documentary feature accompanies the film, explaining some of the history behind the ballet and interviewing the dancers as they prepare to breathe new life into Robbins’ work.
If you are a fan of dance or just want to watch some amazing performers do extraordinary things with their bodies, make sure you catch NY Export: Opus Jazz, either at SXSW or on PBS when it premieres as part of the Great Performances series later this year.
Director Miao Wang has a filmmakers’ eye — of that there is no doubt.
In his film Beijing Taxi, Wang follows three taxi drivers as stand-ins for the larger story of the evolving socio-economic transformation currently being undertaken by the city of Beijing.
Wang masterfully captures the growing apprehension and resistance to the city’s growth as the city prepares for the 2008 Olympic Games. As historical neighborhoods are destroyed and more and more foreigners enter the city in preparation for the games, the film’s subjects —the trio of taxi drivers — provide a model insight into the city’s struggles to retain its identity while still enjoying the increased quality of life enjoyed by most.
The taxi drivers of Beijing Taxi all have their own personal struggles alongside the cultural tug-of-war the city is undertaking. From one driver’s marital problems and her desire to move out of the taxi driving business and open up her own clothing boutique to another driver’s desire to move further up the hierarchy of public transportation and begin driving a bus, the subjects offer great perspective into the newfound concerns and issues facing Beijing residents today.
The film is not particularly entertaining, for those looking for a light excursion during SXSW. It’s also not particularly weighty. It is, however, a fascinating glimpse into the changing landscape of a country that, in a relatively short time, has found itself become one of the world’s premiere powerhouses.
Pascha is the biggest brothel in Europe. Eleven-stories tall and located smack-dab in the middle of Cologne, Germany, the hotel-like infrastructure houses nearly 200 of the word’s hardest-working prostitutes who service a steady stream of customers from around the world.
Like a Pascha follows filmmaker Svante Tidholm as he explores the inner-workings of the brothel and everything that goes into making it run smoothly — from the way each floor of the hotel caters to a different cliental (with their own very special fetish) to the factory-like machinations that keep the brothel’s prostitutes happy and working (such as massive laundry machines to keep the beds’ sheets clean and a 24-hour kitchen and diner that keeps the prostitutes well-fed).
Tidholm, not afraid to push buttons, goes into the project with a clear message in mind. He openly questions everybody from the prostitutes to managers to even the company’s CEO about why their business is needed and the moral implications that come from operating a brothel on such a massive scale.
Besides talking to the faces behind the business, the film also (briefly) talks to the faces that are shoving themselves into the breasts, hair-pies and any other arena of pleasure that is available to rent at Pascha. Customers explain why they go to a brothel and get their jollies — and the answers may surprise you.
The highlight of the movie, though, is the introspective prostitute that Tidholm follows around throughout the film. Her thoughts on prostitution — and how it may actually do some real good for the world — is fascinating stuff.
Like a Pascha is a clear contender for “Must See” at SXSW this year.
For those that need it, I’ll provide a warning that the movie, being about sex, does not shy away from nudity and acts of lust. For those who can watch a film about sex without loosing control and erupting into a Tasmanian Devil of rape, though, the film deserves to find its way onto your schedule — and them some.
Iron Crows is a terribly depressing documentary about the men and children who work tirelessly as ship dismantlers in southern Bangladesh — all for less then $2 a day.
The film follows a sampling of the workers — including Belal, a 21-year-old with a wife and blind child at home that he rarely has an opportunity to see because he’s busy risking his life in the shipyard to support his family. Ekramuel is a 12-year-old boy trying to make an honest living doing a job that kills an average of 20 people a year. Those that don’t die right away from the near-constant stream of unavoidable accidents are slowly poisoned from toxic gases and consent exposure to caustic metals.
For the workers, though, this job is an undeniable gift — their only chance to attempt real changes in their life and shape their own destiny.
The movie, directed by Korean filmmaker Bong-Nam Park, is an eye-opening look at a group of people who risk their lives on a daily basis for an amount of money most Americans wouldn’t be able to live on for an hour.
With a true artist’s eye, Park takes in the shipyards with his camera — taking audiences on a tour of the careful dismantling of the gigantic retired boats that are brought in for complete recycling. Everything must go — from individual light bulbs to the giant sheets of metal that make up the frame of the boat.
Iron Crows is not an easy film to watch. There is no entertainment to be found, no joy in what you are seeing. It is an important film, though — great for putting things in perspective.
