Thank you, come again
Back when “Clerks II” was released in theaters, I was invited along with several other college journalists to interview the stars Brian O’Halloran and Jeff Anderson. Here are some highlights from the interview that originally ran in “The Battalion,” Texas A&M’s student newspaper.
This interview was originally published in The Battalion, Texas A&M's student newspaper on July 20, 2006.
Jeff Anderson on doing “Clerks II”:
I was almost the guy that ruined it. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t think it was a good idea. I thought we had a better chance of screwing it up than actually making a good sequel. I just wasn’t anxious to do it. I wasn’t pursuing an acting career. I don’t get recognized a whole lot from “Clerks.” I’m out there writing and not wanting to do things in front of a camera. I’m not wanting to sit down and have “Clerks” discussions for the rest of my life. Doing a sequel opens me up to all that again. I’m hoping (wearing) the backwards baseball cap throws people off again.
Brian O’Halloran on life between Clerks films:
I was frozen in carbonite. So I was well preserved.
O’Halloran and Anderson on who would replace them in an all-star cast version of “Clerks”:
Anderson: Anthony Michael Hall.
O’Halloran: This is kind of upgrading myself, but Charlie Sheen.
Anderson: Wouldn’t you go see that? I know I would. Anthony Michael Hall and Charlie Sheen in “Clerks.” That should be “Clerks III,” where they just reenact the first one with those guys.
O’Halloran and Anderson on the “Clerks” cartoon:
O’Halloran: Best time I ever had on a Kevin Smith project. Although (“Clerks II”) is cutting it close with Rosario Dawson. My heart broke when I found out (ABC) cancelled it. I thought this could be a “Simpsons” career – working on this ’till I was 80 and collecting the big money and checks. The only thing we missed that we didn’t get a chance to do is that Jeff recommended we do an episode in our underwear.
Anderson: I did that.
O’Halloran: I know. It was so f*cking inappropriate. It made me really uncomfortable.
Anderson: You were looking.
O’Halloran: Kevin still wants to do (a direct to DVD cartoon movie) sometime in 2008, and that’s probably the only time you’ll see the “Clerks” characters again – in animated form.
O’Halloran on kissing Kevin Smith’s wife:
O’Halloran: I had to make out with Kevin Smith’s wife to get in the movie. (laughs) Kevin cast his wife as Dante’s fiancee in this one, and there is a long make-out scene that was made even longer by this camera movement. And there were a lot of issues with the camera movement, so we had to make out, and make out and make out.
Anderson: That was me bumping the camera. I thought it was funny that he was kissing Kevin’s wife. Gotta do it again. Okay Brian, pucker up.
O’Halloran: And that made me uncomfortable because I thought I could get fired at any moment and be replaced with Charlie Sheen or Seth Green. I remember Kevin came up and told me that he had been watching the monitor and thinking, ‘O’Halloran has made out with my wife longer than I ever have before my pants came down to my ankles. Normally, I’m like you gotta f*ck me right now.’ And I was like, ‘Really? Sir, I don’t need to know these details. Thank you very much.’
Anderson: You said ‘f*ck’ to a college student.
O’Halloran: They can print ‘f*ck.’
O’Halloran and Anderson on seeing their faces on “Clerks” merchandise:
O’Halloran: It would be nice seeing some of that cash from that merchandise.
Anderson: I didn’t even know there were action figures. My niece called me up, and I was like, ‘I’m Uncle Jeff, not G.I. Joe.’
Anderson and O’Halloran on people being able to immediately quote lines from “Clerks”:
Anderson: (If that happens), immediately leave that room. Get yourself out.
O’Halloran: I think that’s a testament to Kevin’s ability to script dialogue.
Anderson: No, it’s a testament to our delivery.
Anderson and O’Halloran on television interviews:
Anderson: We were doing television interviews last week, and there was this toilet training expert that went before us. Under her name, on the monitor, she was labeled ‘Potty Pro.’ So we were there cracking up off camera. When we went on air, you better believe I was checking the monitor to make sure it didn’t still say ‘Potty Pro.’
O’Halloran: Seconds before we go on air, the anchor turns to me and asks how it was doing number two. I started laughing, ‘Are we still doing a bit on toilet training?’
Anderson on not getting a love interest in the new movie:
Anderson: I should have held out longer. I guess Randal’s not the lady slayer.
O’Halloran: You’re the potty pro.
Anderson: The only way I’m doing “Clerks III” is if I have 10 chicks all at once.
O’Halloran and Anderson on where they see themselves in 10 years:
O’Halloran: “Clerks III: Grumpy Old Clerks.” Hopefully, maybe directing myself. Producing perhaps. I’d like to stay in the industry. It’s a good life done right.
Anderson: I’ll be in a house on a lot of land in Montana with a lot of chicks.
O’Halloran: I’m sorry, but the vice president owns half of Montana.
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