I Hear The Secrets That You Keep…
Let sleeping dogs lie.
I’m always ready for a nap.
During high school, I would sneak into the auditorium during lunch periods, find a nice quiet spot on the stage behind the curtains, put on my headphones and fall asleep. I knew it was time to wake up when I heard the noise of the next period’s students begin to shuffle into the theater department for their afternoon classes.
My habit for daytime sleep indulgence did not dissipate when I went to college. My freshmen year, I was saddled with an eight o’clock class every morning Monday through Friday but I would always make a point to find time for a nap before my next class. When I couldn’t go back to my dorm room because of time limitations, I would explore the campus in search of a solitary location to rest my eyes.
I became the master of finding unused classrooms with soft seats, comfortable couches in out-of-the-way locations and even bathrooms where I could sit on a clean toilet and take a quick snooze.
From the couches of Rudder Hall to the hidden balcony of the MSC to even underneath my desk in the Battalion offices, I took my afternoon naps wherever I could find them.
My favorite spot, though, was the West Campus library.
With soft chairs that you could sink into, a quiet atmosphere perfect for undisturbed slumber and a convenient distance from the majority of my classes, the WCL became my nap destination of choice.
Between classes I would find myself a nice chair, take out a textbook from my backpack so it looked like I was studying and set my cell phone to vibrate an alarm ten minutes before my next lecture. These short breaks were like manna from the sky as far as I’m concerned.
Unfortunately, there was the issue of talking in my sleep.
Since I was a child, I’ve been told I spout uncontrollable monologues during the night. From short bursts of nonsense gibberish to soft moans, I make all sorts of noises while I sleep — not the least of which is snoring.
Most of the time, naps didn’t put me in such a deep sleep to illicit nocturnal admissions but if I was coming off of a particularly sleepless night all bets were off.
I first noticed my bad habit forming when I began to groan in the middle of lectures. Even with my naps, I always had a hard time staying awake during some of the more tedious of subjects. I once slept through an entire semester’s worth of economics classes.
During one particularly un-inspiring accounting course, I woke to find that I had been making soft moans from the back of the auditorium. Awaking mid-moan, I opened my eyes to see several of my classmates staring at me with a mixture of surprise, humor and annoyance. The embarrassment I felt for the rest of the class period didn’t add up to the shame that came later.
One morning as I slept in the library, I found myself having a particular dream about ordering deli meat from a deaf butcher. As you can guess, this story can only have one ending.
I awoke in the library screaming at the top of my voice two words: “Roast Beef.”
I quickly gathered my books and left the library without looking at the faces of my fellow Aggies. I didn’t need to see the shocked expressions to know every student trying to study had heard my deli meat battle cry.
