It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s a Comic Book Movie!
It’s good to be a superhero. Not a month goes by that a movie based on a comic book property doesn’t appear in theaters. Here is a look at some superhero movies that time forgot.
“Judge Dredd” – 1995
He's Judge, Judy and Executioner.
Tagline: “In the future, one man is the law.”
Who wears the spandex: Sylvester Stallone
What’s it about: Based on the British comic book character who first appeared in the anthology “2000 A.D.,” “Judge Dredd” takes place in a dystopian future where America has become a handful of “mega-cities” that guard humanity against the horrors of the wastelands surrounding them. Law and order is kept by militaristic Judges who act as police, jury, and executioner. Of all the Judges, the most feared and respected is Judge Dredd (Stallone). After being convicted of a crime he didn’t commit, Dredd finds himself on the run from the law along with a criminal he helped convict, Fergie (Rob Schneider).
Key Moment: After surviving a plane crash in the wasteland that is America, Dredd and Fergie are captured by the Angel family – a cave dwelling clan of cyborg cannibals. Fergie’s attempts to appeal to their Christian nature, leads him to be added to their menu.
Comic Book Geek Alert: “In the comic book series, part of the mystique surrounding Dredd is that he is never seen without his helmet, and if he does take it off, only his back or the lower part of his face is shown, BUT NEVER HIS ENTIRE FACE!!!!!!!!! Sure, the movie wasn’t all that, but Stallone should have known better. That’s like Spider-man doing his thing without the mask… in public!!!!!!! Are there any other 2000AD/Judge Dredd fans that agree with me?????” ~ unclechuckf from imdb.com’s movie forum
Memorable Quote: “Emotions… there ought to be a law against them.” ~ Judge Dredd
Should you Watch It: “Judge Dredd” is a fun popcorn flick that makes for an entertaining Saturday afternoon viewing. If you’re bored and in the mood for a little senseless Stallone action/adventure, you can’t go wrong with “Judge Dredd.” Just remember to check your brain at the door.
“Mystery Men” – 1999
The only reason to hate this movie is for unleashing the blight that is Smash Mouth's song "All Star."
Tagline: “This summer expect the unexpected.”
Who wears the spandex: Ben Stiller, Janeane Garofalo, William H. Macy, Greg Kinnear and Paul Reubens.
What’s it about: Based on the Dark Horse superhero team, “Mystery Men” features a band of misfits who are given an opportunity to become the heroes they aspire to be when Champion City’s resident superhero, Captain Amazing (Kinnear) is kidnapped by supervillian Casanova Frankenstein (Geoffrey Rush). Among the team’s members is the always-upset Mr. Furious (Stiller), The Shoveller (Macy) who can shovel better then any mortal man, the bowling ball wielding Bowler (Garofalo) and Invisible Boy (Kel Mitchell) who can only become invisible when no one is looking.
Key Moment: While attempting to bulk up their team, the Mystery Men hold an audition for superheroes. Among the contestants are PMS Avenger (she only works four days a month) and the Waffler with his griddle of justice and low-fat truth syrup.
Comic Book Geek Alert: “What was done in Mystery Men was not an easy achievement and will be absolutely overlooked as being great by anyone but those who have “collected” comic books.” ~ Tomstrange from imdb.com’s movie forum
Memorable Quote: “We’ve got a blind date with Destiny – and it looks like she’s ordered the lobster.” ~ The Shoveller
Should you Watch It: You bet! With a great ensemble cast and highly quotable one-liners “Mystery Men” succeeds in offering an entertaining look at the losers of the super-hero world. With each viewing, the film’s silliness will grow on you until the film becomes a guilty pleasure that you’ll find yourself coming back to over and over again.
“Archie: To Riverdale and Back Again” – 1990
I've always been a Betty guy myself.
Who wears the spandex (so to speak): Christopher Rich
What’s it about: John L. Goldwater’s classic comic characters are brought to life in this made for TV movie. Archie (Rich), Betty (Lauren Holly), Veronica (Karen Kopins), Jughead (Sam Whipple) and the rest of the gang gather for a high school reunion. Now adults off in the “real world,” the “pals and gals” have grown apart from each other. Archie is now a lawyer and engaged, Betty is a schoolteacher, Jughead has become a psychiatrist with his own emotional problems, Veronica’s still a socialite snob and Reggie is about to tear down Pop’s – the gang’s old hangout. Together Archie and the gang must work together to save their childhood memories and finally answer the age-old question: “Blonde or Brunette?”
Key Moment: The film climatic scene involves Jughead Jones and his son performing a rap remix of The Archies’ “Sugar Sugar”. That’s right… let it sink in for a bit.
Comic Book Geek Alert: “I have been an Archie fan since I was very young. I love the comic books, but I don’t love this movie. This movie sucked because Jughead shouldn’t be a shrink, the teenage Jughead we all know does not give a damn about other people! Yeah, he was an excellent friend to Archie, but Jughead isn’t the type to refrain from eating cheeseburgers’ all day and listen to pathetic problems. Puh-lease, who made this movie?” ~ Chantalle from imdb.com’s movie forum
Memorable Quote: “I have a fiancée” ~ Archie
“Don’t worry, I’ve had thirteen.” ~ Veronica
Should you Watch It: Unless you are prone to masochistic behavior, stay far away from this video. Poorly acted melodrama does not suit the corny antics of Archie Andrews and his friends. If you are a fan of Archie, watching Betty and Veronica try to seduce an engaged Archie in the bedroom of a seedy motel will leave you feeling very dirty indeed.
I had (mercifully) forgotten about the dreadful Dredd. Thanks a lot
Thank you very much for this information.