The Carrying On of A Wayward Son

The Final Destination — 2009

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 28 out of 100

Metacritic Score: 30 out of 100

IMDB Score: 5.5 out of 10

What can I say? I kind of liked it.

Really, the only thing this movie was missing was Tony Todd growling at teenagers.

Of course I see the irony in ending my last entry with a disdainful remark about those that would see a horror film only to get off on the violence and then, a day later, admitting that I enjoyed a film that exits only to showcase how far special effects have progressed at depicting horrible, senseless deaths.

I guess I’m just a complicated guy.

“The Final Destination” is not a great film by any stretch of the imagination. There are worst ways to spend an hour and a half, though, then watching a tongue-in-cheek cheesy 3D version of “Faces of Death.”

Of course the film has stilted acting, inane plot twists and more ludicrous leaps of logic then a political pundit — but those are exactly the type of ingredients a film like “The Final Destination” needs.

If Hollywood were to give audiences a film about people dying horrible deaths and present it with the sense of realism “The Final Destination” wisely chose to leave on the cutting room floor, it would look a lot like this:

And quite frankly, I’ve got enough worries on my mind then having to be reminded how scary death really is.

When I was younger, I used to make stupid claims about how I didn’t want to grow old and how I would rather go out in a memorable bang then be forgotten in a whisper. Between my youth and today, though, I’ve come to the realization that death is very, very scary. I can remember exactly when it happened too.

I was driving home from work a few years ago when I suddenly realized, out of the blue, that one day I will die and everything that I represent on this earth will be gone. There is no inserting another coin for another life or getting a redo — someday something will happen that will cause me to shuffle off this mortal coil and come face to face with my post-life destiny.

There is nothing I can do to change this inevitable fact.

As I sat in the car considering my realization, I found myself sweating profusely. How had I managed to get this far in my life without tasting the bitter realization that I had just experienced? Sure, I knew about the facts of life and death, but I had never had such a bright shinning dance with epiphany.

Since that day, I’ve tried to do a better job of not taking things for granted and making the most out of my life while I’ve still got it. I’ve also spent a lot of time combating that surging title wave of fear that comes creeping back into the shores of my psyche — reminding me that, in the larger scale of things, my death is just around the corner.

That’s why I’m grateful for films like “The Final Destination” that, if even for a moment, help me trivialize death and allow me to put my myself back into the shows of a younger Robert — one who was convinced he could live forever, if only he avoided pissing off Tony Todd.