The Carrying On of A Wayward Son

“Troll 2” (1990)

Rotten Tomatoes score: 0 out of 100

IMDB score: 2 out of 10

Earlier this year I had the chance to see the film “Best Worst Movie.”

A documentary about the legacy of “Troll 2,” “Best Worst Movie was made by Michael Stephenson, the now-adult actor who played young Joshua in the 1990 horror film.

This awesome poster is available from Mondo Tees and the Alamo Drafthouse.

Although Stephenson’s film was an amazing story that was entertaining from start to finish, I walked out of his movie a little conflicted.

Sure my sides hurt from laughing so hard at the documentary’s loving ribbing of “Troll 2,” but I remembered really digging the horror movie when I saw it as a kid.

Could I possibly have liked a movie that bad? Or was a generation’s love for irony and cynicism responsible for taking a decent horror movie and transforming it into something epic in its awfulness.

Well, after watching “Troll 2” for the first time in almost 20 years, I have to say that yes, the movie is that bad.

It turns out I had a terrible taste in films as a kid (some would say, I still do).

“Troll 2” is the sequel only in name to the Sonny Bono fantasy film I talked about a few days ago. In fact, the movie doesn’t even feature any trolls. The potato-sack wearing, paper-mache mask donning monsters of the movie are actually goblins. And in case you forget that fact, they actually live in a town named Nilbog, “goblin” spelled backwards naturally.

The non-troll goblin stars of "Troll 2."

When Joshua and his family decide to vacation in the small town of Nilbog, they unintentionally wind up on the menu for a town full of shape-changing goblins. From there, things get a little weird.

It seems that goblins can’t stand the taste of meat — which puts a bit of a dampener on their love for eating humans. Not one to let a little thing like biology get in the way of their desire to chow down on people, the goblins concoct an elaborate scheme that involves feeding people nasty green Gak-looking slime.

Once a person chows down on this junk, they are turned into human/plant hybrids — the perfect late-night snack for a hungry goblin.

Thankfully, Joshua has a little help in saving his family from becoming goblin chow: his dead grandfather who may or may not be in hell.

With his grandfather coaching him, Joshua will stop at nothing when it comes to saving his parents from being turned into plant-people including pulling down his pants and peeing on dinner, playing with fire and crashing goblin church services.

Want some Joshua?

The movie has become known in recent years for its highly quotable bad dialogue that is delivered in truly bizarre ways from a cast of mostly amateur actors.

Watching the film for the first time since seeing “Best Worst Movie,” I noticed that Stephenson’s documentary had a definite effect on my enjoyment of the film.

Now having known a little more about the actors and crew who made the movie, I spent more time wondering what was going through the cast and crew’s heads while they made the movie then actually paying attention to the plot and story.

“Troll 2” may not be the film I remembered it being as a kid, but it is still enjoyable to watch — if only because it truly is the best worst movie.