Buddy, have I got a holiday movie for you
This piece originally ran as part of my “Bad Movies Done Right” column at Inside Pulse. To read more of this and other columns, visit movies.insidepulse.com.
In 1997 movie fans were introduced to a character that would prove to be so popular, he would spawn four sequels and a spin-off franchise that consisted of an additional four separate films. These nine movies would cement this character’s place in film history — for better or worse.
I, of course, am talking about Air Bud, the dog who plays sports better then most humans live their lives.
While Air Bud has long since been retired (probably enjoying his twilight years as a sports commentator on ESPN 2), his children have carried on his legacy with the Air Buddies series of films.
While Air Bud was the jack-of-all-trades when it came to sports, his children, it seems, were given the short straw when it came to the athletic gene. Instead of being able to play any sport with equal talent, the pups are each assigned a particular sport (and personality) to conform to during the films.
B-Dawg, a hip-hop centric pup, plays basketball. Budderball, a dog with a constant appetite for treats, plays football. Rosebud, the only female in the group (who of course, like all girls, is obsessed with fashion), plays soccer. Bud-dha plays baseball and is obsessed with meditation and spiritual oneness. Finally, Mudball, a laid-back slacker with a penchant for getting dirty, plays volleyball.
By bringing together a collection of stereotypes, clichés and cliques, the films are essentially The Breakfast Club of sports dog movies.
In Santa Buddies, the latest film staring America’s most-tolerated talking dogs, the pups must team up with Puppy Paws, the son of Santa’s partner in Christmas, Santa Paws.
Yes, it seams that Christmas is too big of a task for a simple human to pull off so he must team yearly with a talking dog in order to deliver presents to all the good boys, girls and puppies. Kittens are screwed.
When Puppy Paws decides he no longer wants any part of the Christmas racket and only wants to be a normal puppy, he escapes from the North Pole to find the Air Buddies, a group of dogs he feels to be the epitome of good ol’ fashioned puppy Americana.
Unfortunately, with Puppy Paws gone, the North Pole’s magic reserve is in danger of running out of juice. Can the Air Buddies convince Puppy Paws of his place in the world and take him back home before Christmas is ruined for everybody?
It’s a Disney movie — what do you think?
The film ultimately suffers from lack of anything remotely resembling excitement. For talking animals that are also walking clichés, the dogs in the movies are completely devoid of character. Sure, the dogs each have their own unique personality, but almost 80 percent of the film is spent on static camera shots of the dogs sitting perfectly still as their mouths are moved via computer effects and dubbed children’s voices say inane drivel about the meaning of Christmas and holiday magic.
With an emphasis on puppies standing still as they talk instead of footage of puppies doing cute and rambunctious things (like, oh I don’t know, playing sports), the film is actually kind of reminiscent of an Art House picture.
The few human actors brought in for the movie are wasted as they are used as pure window dressing for the dogs’ antics (or lack thereof). George Wendt spends the majority of his time playing Santa Claus staring blankly at a dog while it sits perfectly still and pretends to speak. Christopher Lloyd is a grinchy old dogcatcher who has forgotten the spirit of Christmas.
On a side note — why is the dogcatcher always portrayed as the villain? He’s just doing his job.
Sure his job is to catch puppies, put them into a cage and, if nobody wants them, eventually kill the puppies — but how would you like it if dogs overran your neighborhood?
Santa Buddies is a bad movie — but it is essentially harmless. There is no innuendo or double entendre that might inadvertently warp the minds of young kids and the message it tries to deliver is solid. What kid couldn’t use a crash course in the true meaning of Christmas?
While the film may be boring beyond belief for adults, it’s an acceptable distraction for tiny toddlers who go gaga for talking dogs (regardless of how stupid what they are saying really is).
The movie does look pretty good on Blu-ray. Unfortunately, the only extras are a music video and sing-along karaoke videos that manage to be even more bland and uninviting then the movie itself.
Would I recommend watching the film? Only if you are younger then three or have just received a lobotomy.
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