Death by Nun
This review originally ran at Inside Pulse. To read more, visit movies.insidepulse.com.
I went into Nun of That with more then my fair share of trepidation.
Having seen more super-low budget, ultra-violent action comedies in the last year then I would care to, the novelty of watching low-rent thespians crack groan-worthy one-liners while attempting to remember poorly-choreographed fight scenes and prancing around in gallons of jarringly fake-looking blood has lost its novelty.
I can appreciate the ingenuity of independent filmmakers cranking out movies purely out of the love for cinema, but that doesn’t stop me from pausing in fear before popping in another movie with a title that’s bound to be a million times more entertaining then the film itself.
Nun of That, with its admittedly very clever title, took me by surprise. Not just because it was a fun movie but also because it caused me to laugh out loud — something I very rarely do when watching a movie alone.
Richard Griffin and the Scorpio Film Releasing production company bring fans of cheesy exploitation films a modern throwback to the classic nunsplotation genre.
Sarah Nicklin stars as Sister Wrath, a nun with a temper problem who, after being shot down by an order of habit-wearing vigilantes, is resurrected to join that same order and rid the world of mafia dons, pimps, drug dealers and other assorted scum of the Earth.
Chief among the villains Sister Wrath must put down with extreme prejudice is Momma Rizzo, played by a crossdressing Rich Tretheway.
Rizzo is not alone, though. Along with her gang consisting of the usual Italian caricatures, she is joined by Viper Goldstein, a Jewish hitman played by David Lavallee Jr. This murderous mohel is armed with razor-tipped yamakas and a love for torturing nuns.
Luckily Sister Wrath is not alone either. Alexandra Cipolla, Shanette Wilson and Ruth Sullivan all play fellow members of the Order of the Black Habit.
Sexy, sleek and all-too prone to desires of the flesh, these nuns more then happy to give nun fetishists what they are looking for in their entertainment — erotic nuns doing all kinds of sexual acts with each other.
The action may not be of professional caliber but it’s still a lot of fun.
Computer-enhanced gunplay leads to shoddy-looking special effects but it sure helped the filmmakers ensure that they could make the bloodiest bang for their buck. Heads are dismembered and gangsters are pumped full of more bullets then the cast and crew of the film are going to need to say Hail Mary’s.
The cast, made largely of amateur actors, is quite apt at delivering co-writers Richard Griffen and Ted Marr’s clever dialogue. Full of all the corny puns and eye-roll-educing punch lines you’ve grown to love in your low-budget action movies, the film sets itself apart from the unwatchable with its sheer determination to take itself as serious as humanly possible.
While it’s not above having an electroinca-inspired musical number by a bigamist Jesus Christ, the film still retains a tone that is, for the most part, straight faced.
This attitude helps sell some of the more zany aspects of the film — something constant winking and nudging to the audience would not have been able to accomplish.
One of my favorite bits in the movie has to do with Oscar, Sister Wrath’s obnoxious guardian angel played by Luis Brandon Aponte. Instead of offering the bits of soul-touching insight and heavenly guidance that guardian angels are prone to dispensing, Oscar is more apt to wonder around completely nude like some blitzed frat boy or a castoff of MTV’s Jersey Shore.
Look for cameos in the film from Debbie Rochon and Lloyd Kaufman — staples of the independent horror scene.
Extras on the DVD include a making-of feature, two audio commentaries, the original short film that inspired the making of the movie and a collection of trailers for similar micro-budget horror films.
Nun of That may be a bad film — but it’s one of those bad movies that so entertaining it becomes a joy to watch.
Robert Saucedo hopes nun of his readers were offended by today’s review. Follow him on Twitter @robsaucedo2500.
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