Now What? — Post Grad review
Despite it’s single-digit score on Rotten Tomatoes, Post Grad is not a terrible movie. Trust me, I’ve seen terrible movies. No, Post Grad is just a terribly unmemorable cookie-cutter approximation of a movie.
Neither insulting in its awfulness nor worthy of anything deeper then a cursorily glance, the film is doomed to little more then a few more months spent being shown to disappointed tweens at the first and last slumber party hosted by that awkward lonely girl who sits in the back of the classroom sucking her own hair oblivious to the fact that the rest of her classmates mock her Lisa Frank folders.
But that destiny too will be taken from Post Grad when another similarly mediocre movie is pushed through the studio production cycle within the next year.
It’s a real shame too.
Post Grad is chock-full of great actors who, given a slightly less apathetic script, could have put together a movie that spoke of something deeper then the collection of The CW network melodramas that are stitched together in an attempt to spin a half-hearted movie out of straw.
Alexis Bledel stars as Ryden Malby, a recent college graduate who finds she needs to readjust her expectations after she has trouble landing a job.
Offering her emotional support as she blinks her bright blue eyes in frustration are Adam Davies, her loyal platonic non-gay friend played by Zach Gilford, and her wacky family of free-spirits that are played by Michael Keaton, Jane Lynch, Bobby Coleman and Carol Burnett.
Rodrigo Santoro (notably missing the body makeup he used to play Xerxes in 300), J.K. Simmons, Craig Robinson, Fred Armisen and Demitri Martin all have small supporting roles in the film.
Not to sound snarky but director Vickey Jenson, who with this film makes the move from the world of directing animation, just can’t make the break from crafting a cartoon.
While I can certainly sympathize with how emotionally exhausting looking for a job after college can be, Post Grad chooses to gloss over that very interesting subject matter in favor of building a clichéd romantic comedy paint-by-numbers plot that audiences have seen a million times before.
In fact, the movie’s biggest fault is the fact that it has nothing new or interesting to say beyond its “young people have emotional stress too” theme.
As Adam, Friday Night Light’s Zach Gilford plays the unrequited lover, hoping to woo the affections right out underneath Ryden. Unfortunately for Adam, Ryden is much more interested in landing her dream job — that of an assistant editor at a publishing house.
SPOILER ALERT
That all changes, of course, when Adam gets tired of waiting for Ryden to notice him and moves to New York City. Ryden, who has finally just landed her dream job, then proceeds to quit her job, move across the country and chase after the boy she spent the entire movie spurring his advances. That’s right, girls! Careers are a fun hobby but nothing should get in the way of a future spent barefoot and in the kitchen. Ugh.
SPOILER ALERT OVER.
The movie trudges along, playing out predictable scenarios in a way that only those who have limited experiences with the art of moving pictures would be impressed by.
While there are a few half-smile worthy moments in the film, they come at the expense of schizophrenic plotting.
Ryden’s story is, at times, completely put on pause while the film takes leisurely vacations with her wacky family — showcasing admittedly cute sitcom-esque vignettes that have little to nothing to do with the actual plot.
On Blu-ray, the film certainly looks as good as can be expected. Available in the special features section is a collection of deleted and alternate scenes, a music video, life advice from the film’s stars, a few short featurettes that deal with life after college and a few interactive games that are as silly and shallow as the movie itself.
Post Grad, like I said above, is not a bad movie.
It will not hurt a person to watch it. But, if you have any inkling of desire to check the movie out for yourself, I advice you to hold your horses and just wait until that fateful day not too soon in the future where the film will be available by the hundreds at your local used DVD store — sold to the store by a lonely girl who sucks her hair and whose classmates won’t be tricked into attending anymore of her sleepovers again because she showed them Post Grad.
Robert Saucedo wants to know why anybody won’t come to his slumber parties. Follow him on Twitter @robsaucedo2500.
